


Giving Them What They Want

by JohnBurtonLee



Category: Dreaming of Sunshine - Silver Queen
Genre: Dimension Travel, Gen, Spite as a motivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26638981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnBurtonLee/pseuds/JohnBurtonLee
Summary: Post Fourth War, Tsunade is left with the question of what to do with her stupidly overpowered subordinates. Keeping them in village and letting them entertain themselves didn't exactly seem safe, but it seemed like the least unsafe of her options. She might have thought differently if she knew that the Council had been giving Sasuke grief about not repopulating his clan. She knew Team Seven's unofficial policy of giving people what they ask for in the least satisfying way possible.
Relationships: Nara Shikako & Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 30
Kudos: 639
Collections: Dreaming of Sunshine Exchange 2020 B: Surprise Birthday Edition, Heliocentrism — a Dreaming of Sunshine recursive collection, Violeta's Good Ones





	Giving Them What They Want

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Voldecourt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Voldecourt/gifts).



Tsunade wished that she hadn't already used up her emergency Team Seven alcohol supply for the week. "I don't suppose there was some sort of world ending threat that made you go to the Warring Clans Era, rescue a family of refugee Uchiha and bring them back here?" 

"No, I just wanted to see Shika's face when I told him that I was going to be helping Sasuke repopulate his clan and recruiting other girls to help." Unlike most times when Shikako had been called into Tsunade's office, the girl didn't look sheepish, confused or even faux-innocent. This time she had a vicious grin that said volumes. 

For at least the hundredth time Tsuande wondered what her old teacher had been thinking when he gave that trolling brat Kakashi a genin team. Her leading theory at this point was that the old monkey had worked out that either she or Jiraiya would be Hokage when the brats turned Jounin and he wanted revenge for something they did as kids. 

Tsunade glared at Shikaku with the full force of her irritation at that theory. "Your kids' relationship has gotten so bad that it's breaking space/time." 

"Well, technically, it's just a bridge to an alternate dimension. No time travel involved." 

Shikaku sighed. "Troublesome." 

The Uchiha raised a finger. "Point of order: I wouldn't have gone along with the plan if the Council wasn't giving me trouble about not being an ass and breeding every girl I run across." 

Tsunade turned her eyes to Naruto. "What's your excuse?" 

"We're doing Uzumakis too! We just ran across Uchihas first this time," he chirped in a way that would have been accompanied by a fist thrust into the air just a year ago. Well, at least one of them wasn't motivated by spite. 

"I don't see what the problem is," Shikako said, because of course she couldn't. "We're not only restoring clan genetics, but we're also restoring clan knowledge, history and culture." The key difference between her and the rest of her clan was that they used their skills at bullshit to avoid doing things while Shikako used it to justify doing things. Just one small change to her behavior and the girl became all of Tsunade's nightmares brought to life. 

"And I'm sure this has nothing to do with getting your grubby little hands on any Uzumaki sealing information." 

"Well, I wouldn't want to lie to you…." 

"If I come along next time, do you think we can find some Katos?" asked Shizune, the traitor. 

"Of course!" Naruto cheered, giving her a thumbs up. "We could use the medical support." 

Sasuke palmed his face. "Should we grab some Hatakes while we're at it?" 

"Sensei might have an interesting reaction to that," Shikako said in a tone that suggested that she knew it was a bad idea but wanted to see what would happen anyway. Of course, most people would call it her normal speaking voice. Tsuande used to wish that Team Seven knew better, but now she understood that they did know better and just didn't care. For example, Sasuke knew that sarcasm didn't work on Shikako and just gave her _ideas_. 

* * *

By the standards they were brought up in, Uchiha Asuka, Kazue and Midori were adults who were capable of making their own decisions. In this strange new world they were young enough that they required supervision. It was something they would need to get used to, much in the same way they needed to get used to the fact that Sasuke's two teammates weren't just teammates. They were his friends. Two people from other clans were his best friends. In some ways that was harder to believe than the fact they had traveled so far to the future. 

Thankfully, Sasuke, while technically being in charge of them, was willing to be hands off. Now Sasuke and his teammates were showing them the house they would be using for the foreseeable future. It was next door to the home he used, which seemed like a good compromise between accepting their own boundaries and fulfilling obligations. It was much larger than Midori expected. Everyone would be able to have their own rooms, though she was sure that her younger cousins would bunk together at least for a while. Though giving them the house required explaining why the buildings were all abandoned. 

"And one person snapped and killed the entire clan?" Asuka asked in disbelief. 

"Itachi was Sasuke's brother," the Nara explained. "They're from the line of Amaterasu." 

"Ooh." Kazue was the one that said it, though Asuka and Midori nodded along. 

"Why does that make sense?" Sasuke asked. 

"How to put this…?" Midori started. 

"Your great great granduncle Tajima was an ass," the Nara said bluntly. "Going crazy and wiping out the entire clan wouldn't be a surprise if his child rearing practices got passed on. There's a reason these three decided to take a chance with us." 

Mostly it was because they had a better chance of getting away if they pretended to cooperate, but then it turned out that these crazy people were actually telling the truth. But, yes, so far things were looking like an improvement to living under Tajima's thumb. Really, the only surprise about someone in that lineage finally going crazy was that they managed to kill so many people. 

Sasuke looked at the Nara and then at Midori and her cousins. "You know, that explains so much." 

"It doesn't bother you that the Nara knows more about your clan's history than you do?" Midori finally snapped. This wasn't the first time that the Nara had to act as a cultural translator between the modern and the future Uchiha. 

Sasuke shrugged and jerked a thumb at the Nara. "Motivated Nara," he said as if that was an explanation. 

Midori stared at him in confusion and she sensed that her cousins were doing the same. 

The odd blond Uzumaki returned their stares. "Oi, teme," he said in a much lower volume than normal. For him it was practically whispering. If Midori had to attach an emotion to his tone, it would have been awe. "They don't know why that's scary." 

"What's that like?" Sasuke asked wistfully. 

"Jerks," the Nara said as she smacked Sasuke on the back of his head. "Let's get the girls something to eat." 

"Ichiraku's," said the blond back at his normal loud volume. 

Sasuke seemed about ready to protest but then slumped in defeat. "We might as well get this over with." He turned to Midori and her cousins and said "You're my family now. Unfortunately, that means that these two are also your family, which means that you'll be semi-regularly force fed ramen. No, you can't get out of it. Believe me, I've tried." 

Midori wondered if he meant that they couldn't get out of being family or couldn't get out of being fed ramen. Later, Midori would reflect that she definitely wouldn't be able to get out of eating the ramen. Asuka and the blond eating machine ("Just call me Naruto!") bonded over how it was the food of the gods. Midori seriously worried that Asuka might have found religion. 

* * *

Midori had thought that she understood how powerful Team Seven was. They had saved her and her cousins, after all, and the family wasn't weak. Certainly not as strong as some others in the clan, but not weak. 

Seeing them "spar" buried that belief. Sasuke was almost like Madara reborn, except without being a bundle of anger like the clan heir and with lightning to go along with his fire. Naruto fought nothing like any stories of the Uzumaki that Midori had ever heard. He was more like a swarm of tailed beasts in human form, disdaining actual jutsu and just using raw chakra to rip things apart. In contrast, Shikako fought like a version of the Uzumaki from the collective nightmares of her clan. Seals spread across the ground like drops of rain while she herself was a writhing abomination of shadows. 

Asuka had choked when Sasuke had run the girl through with his sword, Shikako didn't even seem to notice it and batted him away with a shadow tentacle. 

It seemed absurd they were this strong when Team Seven's first mission wasn't until they were twelve, a full year older than Midori was now. 

"The thing is, from our point of view, your clan trained too hard," Shikako said. 

Kazue scoffed. "There's no such thing as training too hard." 

"You Uchiha like fire analogies right?" The Nara didn't even bother dodging the rock Sasue threw at her for that comment. The rock just passed through her in a way that made Midori wonder if her real body was the shadow and her shadow was her real body. "Think of your strength like smoke from a fire, and your body like a forest. You need to burn wood to supply the smoke, but if you harvest the trees directly, that doesn't let the forest grow as fast as it could. Wait long enough for there to be an underbrush and burn that, and it will both help the forest grow and supply fire." 

If Midori hadn't seen the results of that philosophy with her own eyes, she would have regarded it, at best, as hopelessly naive. The more you sweat in training the less you bleed in battle. On the other hand, she couldn't think of anyone in the clan save Madara who could stand up to these three. One she could dismiss as a prodigy the likes of which came along once a generation. Three of them made no sense, especially with Sasuke admitting that Itachi had been even better than him. 

"I'm pretty sure that's a tree analogy and not really a fire analogy," Naruto chimed in, though everyone ignored him. 

"It seems wrong to just play around like some of those _girls_ in the Academy." Kazue pronounced girls like it was a curse word. Having visited the Academy with her younger cousins, Midori could understand. 

"You'd be surprised at how useful some of that stuff is," the blond said. 

"Anything can be weaponized," Shikako said solemnly. "For the girls you're complaining about, some of them may be pretending to be simpering idiots so that you underestimate them. Some of them are practicing their social skills to be more appealing for body guarding and escort missions." 

"Some of them really are simpering idiots," Sasuke added. 

"But if you want something productive to do instead of hard training, there's always medical studies. Knowing the best way to put people back together also teaches you exactly how to pull them apart most effectively." 

"I get very nervous about the Kunoichi group when you say things like that," Naruto complained. 

Shikako smirked. "How are things going with you and Hinata?"

"What have you been teaching my precious cinnamon roll?"

Shikako laughed and dissolved into a shadow that sped off. Well, that's how Midori would have described it before the spar. Now, she understood that was more of a playful retreat than an actual attempt to get away.

"Shikako!" Naruto cried as he chased after her.

"I don't understand," Kazue said.

"The Kunoichi group is a bunch of girls that get together and teach each other how to be utterly terrifying while appearing to be innocent and sweet. They started with medical studies and branched out from there. Hinata is Naruto's girlfriend and the nicest girl I know. She can also kill you with a touch, though she'd apologize to your corpse afterwards. For some reason the idiot thinks they've been corrupting her." Sasuke shuddered. "Believe me, that's not necessary."

Right. Midori would assume that most of the useless girls were exactly that, but she would also assume that there were some that were more than they appeared. For some reason knowing that there were snakes in the grass was actually reassuring to her.

* * *

In the end, they decided to send Asuka and Kazue to the Academy. Asuka decided that she wanted to learn to use seals after seeing Shikako pull things out of thin air, so she was more enthusiastic about school. Kazue simply decided that school sounded preferable to D ranks, which is likely all they'd let her do if she didn't go to the Academy. At least that was her stated reason. Midori was pretty sure that Kazue wanted to be nearby to look after her younger sister, but wouldn't admit it. 

Despite being a year younger than normal graduation age, Midori would be joining Sasuke and his team in traveling to the past. It was mostly to corroborate their story for any other Uchiha they ran across. 

This is how Midori was left sitting with Naruto and Shizune while Shikako and Sasuke _snuck into the clan compound_ to see if anyone was missing. Before that Midori had talked herself into believing that their skill had more to do with having a variety of safe opponents to test themselves against rather than some optimization of training time. But stealth skills didn't seem to be the kind of thing that would benefit from that. Well, fine, having the dog clan would test your ability to conceal your scent, but that would do nothing for your ability to sneak into the compound of the clan with the greatest dojutsu in the world. The Uchiha used their eyes not their noses. 

A distressingly short time later (if you wanted to believe in the security of your clan's defenses even if you've technically defected), the two returned. "No news in any of the official papers," Sasuke reported as if reading the clan's secure communications had just been a boring chore. Midori tried consoling herself with the knowledge that the clan's modern codes would be historical information for Sasuke. It didn't help much. 

"Someone mentioned that they hadn't seen Toshio and Isamu around lately," Shikako added. At least spying on gossip wasn't as threatening. 

"That's probably nothing," Midori said. "The boys have a tendency to train until they pass out. Those two I'll believe train too hard." 

Shikako elbowed Sasuke. "Must run in the family." 

"Shut up. I also didn't see anything about any recent intelligence regarding the Uzumaki or Kato clans." 

"So swing by the Uzumaki territory and then towards the Katos?" Midori asked. That was the plan, but it was going to take _forever_. 

Naruto thrust a fist into the air. "Race you to Uzushio!" 

Shizune cleared her throat. "Need I remind you that not all of us can fly?" 

"Oh, right. I'll create a couple clones for you and Midori." 

Midori looked back and forth between the three members of Team Seven. "You can fly?" 

"They can fly," Shikako said. "Technically I blow myself up in the direction I want to go." 

"Er, what?" Midori asked. That was followed by ten straight minutes of using words that her mother would have been very disappointed in her for knowing if she had still been alive. Flying that fast was _scary_. That was on top of whatever Shikako was doing, which really did look like she was continuously blowing herself up. (Midori wondered if Shikako was going to marry Sasuke. On one hand, she'd fit right in with those Amaterasu crazies. On the other hand, she might make the line worse.) 

It was still better than going to school. 

* * *

A few more expeditions later and Tsunade wasn't too surprised that a couple more Uchiha families joined Konoha. According to Team Seven's formal report, which was supported by historical information, Uchiha Tajima was an ass. Their exact words. Actual accounts from the defecting families gave Tsunade the impression that was an understatement. Between that and the safety Konoha provided it was enough to cause a few people to want to break away from the clan as long as they could do so in a way that still felt loyal like joining another branch. Granted, it was only a few sets of orphaned children by modern standards. 

To Naruto's disappointment, while they had run across some Uzumakis in bad situations that they rescued them from, they all wanted to go back to their clan, probably because Uzumaki Ashina wasn't a total dick. 

So Team Seven's dimensional exploration had amounted to only eight Uchiha kids, which was something that the village could absorb without too many problems, and Tsunade had hoped that would be all that it would amount to. As it was, it was a project that kept them busy, and, this was important, mostly not on the same continent as her and the village she was in charge of. Quite frankly eight brats to take care of was a small price to pay for Team Seven taking their chaos to another dimension. Especially the chaos of Shikako "flying." Tsunade would be willing to bet money that she had come up with that ridiculous technique just to give her brother grey hairs. 

So it was obvious why she was so disappointed in Shizune. 

"The entire Kato clan wants to immigrate?" 

Shizune nodded sheepishly. "They were easy to convince when Shikako dropped a warehouse of grain and flour on them." 

Tsunade sent a questioning look at the walking disaster. "Flour and grain dust are explosive," she explained. The slug summoner was wondering where Shikako got it and not why she had it, but that explanation was more than enough to stop any further inquiries. 

"And the Uzumakis want to send a team over." Sasuke added, sounding like he knew this was going to be a disaster, but it would be an entertaining disaster. "If they can be convinced that we're telling the truth about the future they might send a few families as a colony." Naruto nodded along with that. The nods were so hard Tsunade would be worried that he would give himself a concussion if the brat actually used his brain for anything. 

"They could be a stabilizing influence on Wave," Shikaku offered, though Tsunade's luck wasn't good enough that they'd settle in the ruins of Uzushio. No, with her luck, the only way that would happen is if the entire clan came through. Otherwise Sasuke would probably give them houses in the Uchiha district just to piss off his ancestors. 

"Did Kakashi know what you three were planning before he decided to take his vacation?" Tsunade very much wanted to dump some of these problems on the damn brat. She knew it seemed suspicious that he suddenly rediscovered his hormones and decided to woo that Mabui woman. 

The boys turned to look at Shikako, who shrugged. "Not that I know of? It could have just been an irrational fear of anything involving space/time seals." Tsunade mentally translated that into a rational and very healthy fear. 

"I thought he was running away from any possibility that you might dump that hat on him," offered Sasuke. 

"Aren't you guys being overly cynical? It could really have been love at first sight." Everyone stared at Naruto for half a minute before he started snickering. "I can't believe I managed to say that with a straight face." 

Tsunade sighed and rubbed her temples. "Well if the Uzumaki are sending people over, let me put in an order for some Senju." 

"Rude. You can't just put in an order for people like that," Shikako said. Tsunade wondered why she knew so many people who used disrespect as a sign of affection. 

"Would you three hypocrites get out of here so I can pretend that you aren't my problem?" 

As they left Tsunade tried to figure which Academy students to give to which sensei to maximize the pain that Team Seven would experience when one of them took the damn hat. 

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the tags "We're Family Now and There's Nothing You Can Do about It," "Getting Roped Into A Terrible Plan And Going Along With It," "Heist," and "POV Outsider" from the request. Though "Getting Roped Into A Terrible Plan And Going Along With It" became more along the lines of "See A Terrible Plan And Going Along With It To See What Happens" and "Heist" became stealing people. 
> 
> I'm honestly not sure where most of Team Seven is on the continuum from trying to disguise altruism as trolling and trolling by doing seemingly positive actions people have a hard time objecting to. 
> 
> To be explicit: Asuka is 8, Kazue is 9 and Midori is 11. They're all blooded fighters because the Warring Clan Era sucked. Asuka is happy at the idea of not needing to fight anymore. Kazue is a bit threatened by the idea of everything she's gone through so far being wasted. Midori is just taking things day by day.


End file.
